REPENT THE END IS NEEEAAAAR!!!!

My grandmother is a very religious Christian and she calls our house everyday to talk to my mother.
She and My mom just finished talking and the first thing my mom says is "Better get ready, the rapture is coming."
"How do you know?" I asked her politely.
"Grandma told me." Came her knowing answer.
"And how does Grandma know, Mother dearest?"
"Because of all the Earthquakes."

Right....
Earthquakes almost always cause a chain reaction because there are only a few tetonic plates of whatever they're called. It's not you can just have one reaction and not another. For one action, there is always a equal or opposite action.
So,
What do you think will be the signs of the rapture/end of the world. Do you think it's coming soon?
What happens after the rapture? Is there hope for people who don't know Allah/God or don't follow an Abrahamic Religion?

I've decided to live more Islamically...we'll see how long that lasts.
But i'm going to try. :)

Soooo...yeah...

I've been looking up Hadiths lately and...I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!
Oh my Gracious!
--Allah the Almighty has said: “O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as its.”--

Wow. Whenever I had to read the Bible and occasionally the Torah, I never got into it. Ever. I was reading some today during my hour off (okay it was science but that's the same thing right?) and I was so moved! I'd never felt this way about a piece of literature. I can't even explain it, though I think all you lovely ladies know what i'm talking about.
Oof! This is sooo hard.

Oh my Allah!

Last night my parents were talking about how the only thing i'd get for my birthday would probably be my passport and gas money. I didn't even want anything big, a lovely hug would be nice.
So, stupid me, i decided to joke around
 My mom was saying how since they got me the car, they were going to go easy on buying stuff for me for the next 1000 years. So moi, being the bright intelligent person I am, told her this:
"Oh it's okay, i'm going to be a Jehovah's Witness so you guys won't even have to worry." I was joking, totally joking, I was laughing as I said this and everything. My mother whirled around and gave me the worst look ever given to a daughter in the history of looks. It was SO BAD! So then I had to quickly yell Just Kidding! Kidding! before she brought me to our pastor for an exorcism.
Oy!
So now i've been scared stiff of even talking to her about how i'm done being a Christian and want to convert to Islam. I'm fairly sure if I did, she would kick me out. I love my mother so much and I have a lot of trust in her and she in me but we never talk about faith. I think she knows I'm moving away from her faith and trying to find mine and she does not like it one bit.
I spoke with my Dad about it and he said she was always stubborn about doing things her way (it's true) we switched Churches probably 10-12 times when I was growing up because she didn't like this sermon, or this idea.

So yeah. I want to accept Islam sooooooo badly but I can't. I can't go against my mother. I know that if I told her this, it would probably break her heart so I'm going to wait until I leave for college and a year and a half and hopefully Allah will be as patient with me as he has been so far.
Also, I have no one to teach me about Islam because the local Mosque is like Members Only because there was a LOT of unneccesary outpouring of anger after 9/11. So it's tricky.

Please, pray for me. It's so hard feeling this rift growing between my mother and me because of where I'm going. I don't want to lose her but I don't want to lose my place with Allah.

Sorry for this downer post but it's been on my mind for weeks.

L'Chaim! Happy Hanukkah

I won't be on probably until next week my lovely 3 followers :)
Hanukkah has started and my family and I will be muy busy but I hope to be back next week sometime to rega(i)le you all with my stories of familia and other fun things.

Oh.

I figure that this might just end up being some online journal where it seems like I'm talking to someone but really i'm just talking to myself.

So....I feel like I need to get this off of my blog chest.

Just for future reference. I don't have a religion as of now. Well...

I believe in the Abrahamic God. Allah, God...yeah.

But,

I don't know which one I am.

I was raised Judean Christian which is like Jews for Jesus only not as obnoxious plus, my mom made it up.

My mother is Christian but since Christianity came from Judeism, she wanted us to get the whole shebang. So...I celebrate Hannukah and then go and celebrate Christmas. Easter and Passover. etc etc.

On the other hand,

I started learning about Islam and I was really drawn to it. Like when I found out that Jesus is in Islam I was like "SAY WHAAAAAT?!?!?!?!" It really blew my mind. So now, ever since then, I have been torn.

I have tried A LOT of religions. I have tried to have NO religion. It failed immensely. I love God. I love love love God. He is amazing and beautiful and wonderful but do I love Allah? Or do I love God?

God? Allah? God....? Allah....?

It's constricting, I haven't moved out yet, so I can't go further into Islam until I'm outta house and home.

I don't know, it's complicated.

I mean, what if I choose the wrong one?

Islam doesn't have the trinity

Judeism doesn't have Jesus

Christianity doesn't have the Prophet.

Which is RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I just wish I could talk to someone who wouldn't jump down my throat if I didn't go his/her way.

I have a teacher who does A LOT of interfaith work, I'm going to ArabFest with her and I'm hoping that I'll learn more that way.

If anybody ever reads this, make Dua, pray for me. Do anything. An interpretive dance would be nice. A comforting poem perhaps!