Oscar THIS!

Sometimes, I am amused by my amazing wit. This is my Facebook status right now: "The Only Oscar I have is Oscar Meyer. The plus side, I'm really hungry." AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Gee I am funny.
Not.
Ha.
Ha.

Anybody watching the Oscars? They just showed show a clip dedicated to horror films. Horror films are the number one reason why I wear underpants. It seems that every single girl who is the victim in a horror film at somepoint will be seen without bottoms on...jeans, pj's whatever. It's weird. What are all these girls doing naked? This is probably why they're being targeted by murderers and rapists, because they don't even have pants on.
No pants = Fair game. Just saying. Lock your doors, keep on your drawers and don't talk to strangers. (another glimpse into my comedic mind)

Plus, half of the women in horror movies are idiots anyways.

Ooh...hey Bambi...What the hell are you doing in my back yard?

So...
I'm sick. Yeah...a nasty cold/migraine/cramps up the hoo hah.
But that's not the exciting part.
I woke up this morning and went up to the kitchen and looked out at our backyard...
What do you think I saw?
A FRICKEN DEER!!!!!!
WHY IS THERE A DEER IN MY BACK YARD?!?!
I live the middle of a city, a busy city. Not like Chicago or Milwaukee but still. Not excactly small town. And a deer was in my back yard! MY FENCED IN BACK YARD.
And where was my dog?
GONE!
GONE GONE GONE!
My dog broke our fence and what took it's place, a deer. So I had to go look for my dog, and call the fricken animal control because there was a deer in my backyard.
There is a little bit of a field nearby and I've seen some deer maybe once or twice but it's still a ways away from my house.
How strange.
And I didn't find my dog. She came back on her own like an hour ago.
Wow.



Oh and Spain?
I AM SO GOING.

I love being sick.

What the hell is this? The Ghetto?

Dear Mom and Mr. Pat,

We do not live in the Ghetto. We do have a little bit of money. I know this because you just gave me allowance. I will gladly give up my allowance forever if you will just call the freakin exterminator! PLEASE! I'm begging you on my blog hands and knees. Call the bug guy!!!

Sincerely and with much love,

Heather

B**** Be all up in my grill! *warning angry post that is not very pleasant*

Ugh drama llama bang bang!
I have said before I HATE stupid shallow selfish girls. Unfortunately my 'best friend' has turned out to be one. Crap!
I have, well...everyone thinks i have two bestfriends and that's like it. (they don't know that i'm actually a social butterfly just waiting to spread my wings) and my little pal decided it would be cool to just ignore me for some random reason...? Yeah...
And give me nasty looks
and talk about me to my other supposed pal and then BOTH of them are ignoring me and giving me the evil eye.
And really, I don't need anymore evil eye in my life!!!
I have the opinion that if you're going to declare that it's National Hate Heather day, you should probably give a public announcement so that the Heathers of the world can be prepared but apparently it was a private party! And the worst part is that this is not the first time, this happens all the time.
I'm fairly sure they're angry because I haven't been chillaxing with them as much but you know what?!?!!? I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE MY TIME WITH A BUNCH OF RUDE SELF CENTERED PRICKS!!!!!
I do actually, believe it or not, have more friends than just them. *le sigh*
I'm just so pissed! I don't even know what I did! If i've done something wrong, i'd like to know what it was so that I can fix it.
I don't need that kind of negativity in my life, it's bad enough on it's own! lol

I'm not really mad that they're ignoring me, i'm actually kind of relieved because i'm not a big fan of some divalicious B****! and her little croney talking about me behind my back. What i'm mad about is the two of them having blatant ignorance, selfishness and a down right rude attitude towards me. Treating me like that after I supported them for years isn't a good way to keep a relationship going strong. I thought that I had two really good friends but it turns out that apparently all I had was a lie. I don't need that, I don't want that and I don't have to have that. So, i'm just going to take a deep breathe let all the bad ju ju out and get on with my life.
If someone is going to pour some random shit on me, then i'm going to move so it doesn't hit me. Nuff said yo! We Are Ova missy missy miss! I have several other much more reliable and just plain better ladies that have been there for me for the past 4 years and i've been blowing them off to hang out with some poop head who walks all over me like a treadmill.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


On an entirely a so much more pleasant note: My friend Katee and I went on a little excursion to the big national park thing by my house. She brought a camera and we just had a good time. It took us two hours to even find the fricken entrance but it was well worth it.

Just today when I got home after school there was a letter and picture of me that Katee had taken while we were at the park. She wrote this really REALLY beautiful letter and I cried when I read it!!! and I never cry! She is just a sweetheart and I love her to teeny tiny bits and it really just made me realized what i've been missing for those two idiots. It just brightened my whole day. I can't even describe it. It was just wonderful. Somebody upstairs really knew I was having it tough and i'm so glad I have her and I'm really regretting deserting her and everyone else for the past months.
New Year's Resolution:
Clean out my shitty friends closet and fill it with the good ones that have been waiting in the rafters of Luuuurve
:)




And on another happy happy note!

Who ever is in controlled of my comment box SUCKS! It won't let me answer comments, i don't know what's going on. So...
Alabastermuslim, this is the comment that i've been trying to leave for hours but it's not working.
"I have been in Wisconsin for 16 (soon to be 17) looooong years and I think I have only seen one muslim woman. Maybe it was you!! lol
Thank you for the support, I really really appreciate it.
:)"

*She is also my new follower!!!! YAYYYYYY!!!!

Thank you for tolerating this horrible little dealio.

Woeee is me!

Ughhhhhhhhhhh!
I have a migraine the size of Guam and it is NOT going away! I have to stay home from school in the dark and I probably shouldn't even be on the computer but i'm bored as hell right now. Ay!!!! I have a history of migraines that last a loooonnngggg time and if this sucker lasts more than a day, i'm going to the hospital and getting some REAL painkillers *not i'm not an addict* because quite frankly, advil does not work anymore for me. Headache, sore throat and a fever. Maybe I actually have the flu? I would rather have the flu.

Dear Headache, please go away. Thanksgiving is coming this week and I would really like to not be sick. Sincerely, Heather

Anyways, i'm sorry I haven't post for a few days but my mother is getting herself in a tizzy over the holidays, decorating for Christmas/Hanukkah, and I'm not feeling well so there is a large possibility that I won't post for another few days.

Oh Knitting

On Sunday, I am going to my Aunt's house and she's going to teach me how to knit. I've decided that i'm going to knit Christmas/Hannukah presents for everyone in my family and friends.
I'm knitting my friend D a pair of Socks that say  DA & HK forever because we're basically married in a totally friendship sense. We will be fighting and my friend B will say something along the lines of 'shut up, you two are so annoying' and D will respond by saying 'Well that's what happens when you tie the knot, B.'
 We grew up together and he's basically my brother so I think it's legit.
Anyways, I was looking for inspiration on Google and I typed in Knitted sweaters (because i'm going to knit my brother a sweater that says 'My sister is bomb.') and this came up....

Ladies....I give you the knitted swimwear collection!!!!

Classy and Sofisticated, this bikini will give you barely any coverage in a stylish manner...

Hand knitted by your GRANDMA!!!!

I think I might buy it. :) :)